Two years ago today, I did one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. Well up to that point in my life, I left my marriage of two and a half years.
I procrastinated, I should of left earlier but I was scared. (I lived 3,000 miles away from everything that I knew.)
I was afraid to be on my own again. To completely support myself financially.
I wasn’t happy, my husband wasn’t happy, I was drinking everyday, (I drank everyday for years).
Then one day I realized that this was no way to live life. I started to make plans. I put in place what I called “fail safeties”.
I had my company start booking my flights out of Vegas, I had a show in San Diego, I told them I’d drive to that show since I was going to be there anyway. Brian booked a flight to Boston and I had to pick him up at the airport. (He drove Scooby and I across the country).
I had to do all of this because I know me and the pressure would of been too much, the emotions would of been on overload, and they were, and I would of just changed my mind and stayed. It would’ve been easier.
But I didn’t. I followed through with the decision I made.
It was the hardest thing I had ever done. (The next hardest was having to put my beloved Scooby down just five weeks after leaving Boston.)
Today my life is completely different.
Financially I am doing great. Emotionally, I have my moments as we all do, but I can say that I am doing very well.
I have my dear family and friends who helped me get to where I am today. I couldn’t of done it alone.
I post the pic below because changing my life all started with me. I had to make the decision and follow through with it.
It was hard. There were countless nights of tears and extreme anxiety. I had never experienced anxiety before in my life and now I was experiencing it on a daily basis.
My heart was broken, not once but three times. (I might share the third story at some point.)
I hid out at my sisters house for five months. I went to the airport and would go to work and then back to the safety of her house.
I journaled. I meditated. I used essential oils daily to calm my ass down. My sister gave me the tough love that I needed.
It wasn’t easy. Not at all. But I did it.
I survived. I grew. I built back up the woman inside. It was hard, but I did it.
Maybe there is a decision you need to make. A decision that you have been procrastinating on making.
I don’t know what it is, I do know that it will be hard, you will be scared. You will think that you are not strong enough to really do it. I’m here to tell you that you are so much stronger than you think you are. You can do it.
I am grateful for my struggles because my struggles have made me who I am today.
I hope this serves you.