Where To Begin?

Greetings My Friends!!

I don’t even know where to begin. The last 8 months have been nothing that I ever expected to happen in my life.

After 2.5 years of being married and living on the East Coast (when I’ve always lived in Nevada, Idaho and Utah) and many discussions with my husband, I decided to leave my marriage and move back to the West Coast. Still to this day I love my husband and I am really sad that it didn’t work out. We are still really good friends and I want only the very best for him.

A month after I separated from my husband, I had to put my 13 year old furry sole mate, Scooby down. I cried everyday for months. I still miss him to this day and I want him back.

6017_10200796702824268_149416236_nI had in the plans to move to San Diego with Scooby, well I went ahead with those plans and even though I was there for about 5 days in a month’s time, things didn’t work out. I still can’t explain it as I am not sure what happened.

I was broken, heart broken, beat down and didn’t know what to do. I went to stay with my sister in Gilroy, south of San Francisco.

For the first few months, I most definitely hid from the real world. I would travel for work and go and do my job, then go back to Cali. My sister would apply “tough love” when needed, which was a lot. I am still not sure how I made it through. I know that I had amazing friends and family that would check in on me.

One of my friends called me and we would do meditations together over the phone. He also told me to start journaling. So I did, there was something powerful by putting pen to paper and getting it all out. Everything that happened and everything that I wanted to say, I wrote it out.

I had seriously considered seeing a therapist. I still think it is a good idea. Once upon a time my husband had suggested that I see a therapist and start taking some kind of medication. I was really depressed, drank everyday and highly emotional for a very long time. That SAME DAY my sister had suggested the same thing. I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to be reliant on another “little pill”. (I have a genetic heart condition and I take heart medicine twice a day for the rest of my life.) Even though I had no problem numbing my feelings with vodka.

I didn’t see a therapist at that time and I didn’t take any medication.

While I was at my sisters, I started experiencing anxiety everyday. (I was not drinking very much at this time, so I had to deal with my feelings and I believe they came in the way of anxiety.) How I thought my life was supposed to be was completely opposite from the reality. I was 37 and starting all over.

I was introduced to Essential Oils. Thank goodness.

Please understand that Essential Oils are not my “magic potion” in addition to everything else and all the support I was receiving, it really helped me out.

The Balance Blend has become my new best friend. The following is directly from the doTERRA website: click here

Balance
Grounding Blend

Everyone experiences moments of disconnectedness or anxiety. The warm, woody aroma of Balance, dōTERRA®’s grounding blend, creates a sense of calm and well-being. We perfectly blend spruce, rosewood, frankincense, and blue tansy with fractionated coconut oil to offer an enticing fragrance which promotes tranquility and a sense of balance. For aromatic or topical use.

This oil, along with my sister, my family and my friends, I am in a much better place today.

I have moved back to Las Vegas and I am staying with friends while I house hunt. I am actually in the very beginning stages of buying a house.

Being alone doesn’t bother me as much as it once did. I am getting better at it. I am not liking being “single” I really miss having that special someone, that is in your corner and will back you up regardless. I miss not having someone to share how my day went, and so much more.

With all of that being said, the thought of dating gives me anxiety. I am not ready and I don’t want to do it. Where is my Balance Blend…..

 

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Jennifer Sig